A group of hostages are freed after a tense 7-minute stand up set, the last thing a government worker needed was his agency to label him 'non-essential,' and David Bowie asks Iman if they should just do lasagna again. It's the week of October 3, 2013. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion